What I Didn't Do

I should have loved you while your skin was clean.
Instead I spent those years in a capsule trying to crack the seam.
I should have known you'd not get penned in.
Even if I tried, your role could not have lived.
I would have loved to grace your lips with a kiss.
But where was I when you whispered your wish.
I would have died to see you in your moment of truth.
Damned to be the voyeur in a motel room.
But unlike you, I fear I have not lived,
Except to say I've seen the years pass away.

I could have left the train to see your star.
A lonely lane you trekked to go so far.
I could have searched my globe for a sign.
No direction came to dictate our time.
I shouldn't have laid down so soon,
Among tall grass rising and reaching for the moon.
I shouldn't have screamed your name in dreams,
Where no one heard but the feeble and lame.
Now I've lost the only sun I've had;
Some say that you've lost your way.

I wouldn't have hurt your pride with your heart.
Like the thief who stalks for riches in the dark.
I wouldn't have left my guard down long.
Hoping for rain from the clear sky above.
I couldn't have tamed the worries across my brow,
That wake me up from my time of unconscious lies.
I couldn't have withstood the pressure you hold,
My stones falling, my life retreating, my mind all but gone.
So you see, you've already won
And I can no longer dream of my life alone.





To The Beginning